A Possible New Path...

I went through many different career path changes in the past few years. I had many different ideas about what I could do with the rest of my life, but most of the time I realized that I'd get sick of it after a while. The one goal I settled on is not doing well in the job market. I'd love to be a children's librarian, but my cousin Megan does this already and told me it's not worth my time and money. I've heard a lot of bad things about the job market of public libraries. I don't want to spend half of my life unemployed and struggling to find a job I will like.

I've been thinking a lot lately. My ultimate goal is to become a novelist, but I know I cannot rely on this alone. I love books. I love reading. I love all forms of fiction. Unfortunately, there just aren't too many jobs out there that rely solely on these. A new idea has recently come to me, but I'm still not 100% sure if I am willing to do this. If I want literature to always be a huge part of my life, I can get my doctorate in some form of literature and spend my life being a professor, teaching the literature I enjoy most, and writing lots of papers about it.

I didn't take college as seriously as I should have. If I put my heart and soul into it, I could have gotten As in all my literature classes. Either way, I got my degree in something I truly enjoy. Getting a doctorate will be a LOT of work on my part. I will have to dedicate myself to this and be okay with being overworked and overly-tired in the future. If I do go through with it though, I'll never have to push my love for literature aside for work and will always be doing something related to one of the most important parts of my life.

Not gonna lie, it would be cool to be (I think) the first in my family to have a doctorate. Dr. Aug has an interesting ring to it. Feel free to post your thoughts and opinions. Hopefully soon I'll decide if this is what I truly want to do.

The Rainbow Cookie Cake...

I love rainbow cookies, and my friend JT loves them as well. They are more easily found in the NYC area of New York. I was extremely disappointed to discover they were nearly impossible to find in the Buffalo area. You could easily find a dozen at the nearest Stop and Shop on Long Island, but you'll never spot them in the Wegmans or Tops up here in Western NY. I was very upset and told my Western NY friends of this deliciously almondy, moist cake-like cookies that did not exist in this area.

When I met a friend who loved them as much as I did, we made it our goal to find these cookies. JT was the one to finally find them in a small bakery about 20 minutes from where I live. We were in rainbow cookie heaven.

I read several cooking blogs, and came across a recipe for Rainbow Cookie cake (Always Order Dessert). At the time of discovery, I was unable to make it cause I lacked the right tools and recipes: 3 9" cake pans, a box grater, and the key ingredient almond paste. Lucky for me, I got the pans for Christmas, I bought the box grater for $4, and JT found a bakery near his job that sells almond paste by the pound. We set a date and made the cake.

Though I looked confident as I gathered all the ingredients and assembled the cake and JT did the dirty work, I was nervous about how the cake would come out. My few epic failures have come from baking, not cooking. I would have been devastated if I couldn't handle this cake. The process wasn't difficult, but I was still afraid to waste all the deliciousness in front of me. We put the cake in the oven and waited for the results...

I'm very messy when it comes to using flour.

After the cake was done baking, everything looked cook. The almond smell that consumed my apartment was heavenly. The cakes themselves did not get stuck inside the pans. All was going well.

Once we finsihed icing this bad boy we were ready to dig in. It was torture waiting for the cake to cool so we could frost it and dig in. I've frosted a cake before when it was still warm. Did not work out well at all. The final product looked gorgeous and luckily enough, it tasted just as good as it looked. The cake was a little dry, but that was our fault since we ate dinner and watched a bunch of The Big Bang Theory in the middle of preparing the cake. We should have just eaten first. I'll definitely be making this cake again in the future. JT wanted to do this every other week...but we'd sweel up real quickly is we ate that much cake.

Another New Year...

Happy New Year!!

A new year has come once again and everyone celebrated its arrival. Everyone sets new goals for the new year and hope that they will follow through until the end. I know a lot of times people fall through with their plans unfortunately, but life has a bad habit of taking over.

I was never one to set New Year's resolutions. If I ever had any, it was because of some project we would have after the new years began in grade school. They were the typical "be a better person" or "do better in school". Yadda Yadda. This year I want to be different though. This is the year my real life begins. I have graduated from college and now start a new phase of life. This new phase started a little before the new year, but this year I want to make a difference in my own life. I have a lot of plans

Now, I'm writing this post on the 8th and not the 1st. I think If I started too early I would have cursed myself into not following through with anything. My friend told me not to start anything on the first. It's superstition, but I can be paranoid. Here are my resolutions:

I want to finally begin writing and have a short story published by the end of this year.

I know I want to be a novelist, but I have been lacking in the whole writing process. Can't become a writer without actually writing. I'm being quite lenient. I only want to start getting my name out there. One story published isn't that big of a deal if I want to become known, but it's a start. I already have some ideas for writing projects and I will be beginning them shortly. I plan on actually using my story and poem notebooks that I purchased over a year ago.

I want a to get a decent job.

My current job is not terrible, but it's mentally exhausting. Retail is difficult and since you need to deal with every type of person; the good and the bad. I did just get a promotion, but I definitely do not come home feeling accomplished everyday. I want a job I feel decent about at the end of the day. I know I still need to go through grad school, and if I had the stamina to possibly get my doctorate. I will not be beginning my career yet, but I will not simply be doing retail by the end of the year.

I want to figure out myself/my life...somewhat.

I decided that I wanted to become a children's librarian a while ago, but I need to change that if I do not want to struggle with jobs in the future. I need to figure out what I will be happy doing with the rest of my life. As much as I'd simply like to write fiction for the rest of my life, it's not a good idea to rely solely on that as income. I need something else, and once I decide that I can figure out what to get my Masters in and that possible doctorate. I also want to figure myself out, clearly not all in a year now. I want to see what makes me happy and what will keep me happy in the future. I can't figure this out all in one year. The rest of my life would be quite dull if I figured everything out at the age of 23.

I want to make sure I read every other day.

I love to read, but I haven't been doing it much lately. I have a kindle with a bunch of books on it that I need to read. Reading will also keep my imagination fueled for my own writing.

Let's get the typical resolution out of the way...I want to get into decent shape.

I'm not overweight or anything, but if I start perfecting my body now I will keep it that way in the future. I don't want to completely give up on myself after I start reproducing. I want to eat better and find out what kind of work out regiments I like the best. Part of me wants to start running, but I've always hated running. It would definitely be a challenge though. I also want to teach myself to cook a few vegetarian meals. Not eating meat all the time would be a plus. I also want to learn how to get as many fruits and veggies in my life that I can. I'll learn which ones I like...and maybe how to cook the ones I don't like so that I can enjoy them. The more the merrier.

I want to experiment more with my cooking.

I've already fallen into the habit of making the same things over and over again and I haven't even been cooking for myself for a year. I want to make sure I try new things and teach myself everything I can on my own about cooking and baking. Two near-future dishes will be rainbow cookie cake and beef stew :)

One more thing...I want to actually update this blog and get more followers.

I started this blog to get myself writing on a regular basis and I've been failing miserably lately. I plan to turn that around though.

Well, there you have it. My first year of taking resolutions seriously. Keep reading to find out how well I stick to them throughout the year of 2011.

A true masterpiece...

What was the start of all this?

When did the cogs of fate begin to turn?

Perhaps it is impossible to grasp the answer now,

From deep within the flow of time...

But for a certainty back then,

We loved so many yet hated so much,

We hurt others and we hurt ourselves...

Yet even then we ran like the wind,

Whilst our laughter echoed,

Under cerulean skies....

-Chrono Cross, PSX

I've been playing a lot of original Playstation games lately. I've been craving some of the mid generation games that I've always loved to play. My favorite game from this generation, and probably of all time, is Chrono Cross. Everything about this game attracted me: the story, the characters, the graphics. I've played a few RPGs on the Xbox 360 and haven't really been that impressed (I did just recently start playing Dragon Age and I guess I must admit I'm addicted to that game). Not many games have been able to grab onto me like this game has.

I've learned I'm a fan of the older generations of games, at least when it comes to RPGs. All the reasons I like this game pretty much sums up how these older RPGs are much better in quality than they are today. I miss when games had no voice acting. The only thing that accompanied the actions of the characters were the words that popped up on the screen. Chrono Cross came out during the time that games were starting to delve more into voice acting, but the makers of CC decided to keep their players reading instead of listening.

Each of the 42 characters had their own personalities. Many of these personalities are aided by the variety of accents given to the characters. Most of the characters have their own diverse way of talking. The heroine, Kid, speaks with a slight Australian accent, calling people "mate" and telling her enemies that she'll "kick their arses so hard they'll kiss the moons". Harle speaks with a French accent with the occasional French words and phrases gives a nice dash of sass to her character. Of course these accents can easily be done by voice actors, but it will always sound perfect when you're reading it to yourself.

One thing that will butcher a game for me is terrible voice acting. If the voices of the characters don't fit the actual characters and are just bad at acting out the certain situations, it makes me want to turn off the game and hide it in a dark corner forever. When you read, your mind takes over and forms your own version of the way a character speaks and acts. This is all ruined if the character is given an actual voice and the actor plays the part terribly. A character can be ruined by an actual voice. Part of the beauty of older games was reading whatever needed to be said. Players are able to interpret a character into the best they can be because they are partially formed within the person playing the game.

Something else that seems to be dying in the newer generations of RPG games is the silent protagonist. Since voice acting is almost a staple in games today, the silent protagonist becomes and unrealistic part of the scenario. If everyone else around the main character has a voice, there is no reason for him/her not to speak as well. Some games still hold onto it, but it seems to be a part of video games that is slowly dying. Silent protagonists gave the game developers a challenge. They had to give a character a personality through actions alone. The actions and choices are the only attributes that will give this character a bit of their own personality. The rest of the personality is up to the gamer himself. With silent protagonists, the gamer is able to create the character. A gamer can feel their own presence within the silent protagonist since they never speak themselves. I've always been a huge fan of the silent protagonist in Chrono Cross, Serge. I was able to make him into the ideal man for the situation he found himself in. The player knows something has gone wrong during the one part of the game where Serge gains a voice (well, text technically). He was a silent protagonist that was able to take his players and keep them interested in this magnificent game.

Even though Chrono Cross was one of the later original Playstation games, the makers chose to keep voice acting out when many other games were using this along with or instead of text. Now, it is hard to find a new game without voice acting, and as long as it is done well I can enjoy it. I will always have a soft spot for the more retro games though. No matter how amazing new games are, I will always be able to pull out my PS2 and enjoy playing Chrono Cross, as well as many other older games that existed before the mandatory voices were placed within video games.

From novel to movie...

As a future novelist, I look at authors like J.K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer and have mixed feelings about their success. Both have different reasons for their success, but somehow they were able to make their series' so popular that is made it to Hollywood. There are too many authors to count out in the world, and only a handful are "good enough" to reach star success.

Event though it is my guilty pleasure, the Twilight series is not exactly a well written series. The characters are cliche and predictable. I believe the story gives a bad message to teenage girls. Stephanie Meyer's success comes from taking the popular sexualized vampire figure and making it accessible to the everyday teenager. It has been done before, and Stephanie Meyer did it again, only with her own little twist. The Harry Potter series isn't a guilty pleasure. I'm okay with admitting I'm a fan of all seven books. I believe J.K. Rowling deserves her success. She is a brilliant writer. I did notice how many similarities there are between the Lord of the Rings series and the Harry Potter series though. That aside, she has a well written series compared to Stephanie Meyer whose book was meant for teens, and the book is at a 7th grade reading level.

I'm not sure if I would want anything I write to be adapted into a film. It's another form of art to express a story that has been told. At the same time though, I feel it's an excuse not to read a book. I know plenty of people who simply see the movie instead of taking the time to read the actual novel. I'm a fan of movies, but I definitely prefer reading. There are plenty of obstacles in the reading world with constantly evolving technology, and this makes it harder for reading enthusiasts to express the importance of picking up a book and reading it once in a while. It works your mind in a way that movies are not able to. Everything is laid out for you within movies. With novels, you have the ability to create something of your own. The authors create the characters, but readers take it a step further and make them real.

Some actors are able to portray characters extremely well. I thought Emma Watson and Rupert Grint were amazing as Ron and Hermione . They act exactly like I imagined them within the novels. Daniel Radcliffe on the other hand isn't the greatest actor. He definitely looks like Harry Potter should (a bit more attractive than the one within the novels), but he just cannot act. He tries to hard to be emotional and just ends up looking bad in the end. People who simply watch the movie cannot be impressed with this character. If they read the novels, they would see everything in a whole new light. They can have their own Hogwarts instead of constantly referring back to the ones created for them by Hollywood. As for Twilight, I wasn't impressed with most of the cast. I hate Kristen Stewart. She's not an actress, she's an awkward girl who can only play as herself. I know there are plenty of people who agree with me, as well as plenty who will want to rip my guts out for saying such "blasphemy". None of the actors truly "wowed" me within this movie. I still paid to see it each time though...and I'll do the same thing for Breaking Dawn as well. Again, it's a guilty pleasure. My hormones ooze lovey-dovey awws at the typical love story. Cliches are comfortable; that's why people like them.

If a director came up to me and asked me if I'd like to have my future novel/series turned into a movie, I would probably let it happen. The movie industry is it's own art form, and I'd be curious to see what they would do with my stories. I'd also be able to just write for the rest of my life and put my future kids, and probably grandkids, through college. I would simply hope that they can do a good job with what I gave them, and I won't allow them to let K Stew play any of my characters.

The Dragonfruit...

This is Pitaya, also known as dragon fruit. This fruit has mesmerized me for some time now. It looks absolutely delicious. The inside look like real vanilla ice cream with the black specs throughout it from the vanilla bean. The insides can also be pink, or the outside yellow, but I would definitely prefer to try the pink on the outside/white on the inside kind. It's more visually appealing to me. I've been obsessing over trying this fruit, but of course it's native to Mexico and Central/South America, so it doesn't often make it's way to the local Buffalo Wegmans.

There are several types of foods I have discovered from watching TV/reading books that have just looked absolutely amazing to me. I'll write about the other kinds in other posts.

When my friend Mike told me he tried, I automatically got envious and obsessed more over it since he told me where he got it from, which is only a 15/20 minute drive from where I live. Of course, I never ended up going. I'm rarely in that area, and for the longest time the road it's on was going through major construction and was a nightmare to drive through. I have still yet to drive out to that specific grocery store.

My luck changed one day though. While food shopping one day, I saw it sitting in a basket in the produce section. A huge smile spread across my face, but it was quickly wiped away. The color was dull and unattractive and the spikes seemed to have lost their perkiness a while ago. It did not look as fresh as I have seen it within all the pictures on the internet and within books. I also saw that it was $10 each. I have never paid that much for fruit, and as a college student working part time in retail, I have to remain semi-strict with my food budget (that can be really hard for me who wants to experiment and try everything).

I had found my dream fruit, but I was stuck in a predicament. Did I really want to spend that much money for a piece of fruit that looked far from fresh? In the end, I decided it was not a good idea. I would once again have to wait for the next time I would come across this tropical wonder. I left the area with a slight frown and went about my regular shopping. I wish tropical, out-of-local-region fruit wasn't so expensive, but in the end it makes sense. One day though I will find my fruit again and suck up the fact that I need to spend a lot of money.

When that day comes, I hope the fruit is as delicious as I imagine it can be. I hope it'll be juicy, with a subtle but still sweet taste to it. All I can do now is imagine what this ice cream look-a-like will taste like. With my luck though, I will try it and hate it. When the day comes that I try it, I will make sure to write about it and let the world know whether or not it was everything I imagined.

Food: Educational and Fun!

Once I got into college and didn't have a good kitchen accessible to me, I conveniently got into cooking and baking. I dabbled in it a little in high school; baking a few cookies around Christmas, and having cooking get-togethers with friends but nothing to serious. I don't know what hit me, but all of a suddenly the world of food and cooking fascinated me (to everyone in my life's advantage). I would cook every time I came home from living in the dorms at Buffalo State College. I've baked Christmas cookies every year when I came home for winter break. I cook with friends here in Buffalo and I'm upset when I go a few nights without being able to cook something in depth for myself.

Along with my new love for cooking, I discovered the wonder of the Food Network. I can watch this channel for hours and never get bored. I learned a decent amount from watching this channel, and I like sharing my knowledge with others that I gained from watching TV. This channel made me want to cook and try new things. From this discovery came a new obsession: Alton Brown and Good Eats.

This man is my idol. He knows all there is to know about any type of food. He doesn't just explain how to cook something, he explains the science behind both the food and the cooking process. He's funny (in a cheesy kind of way) and he's more informative than any other chef I've seen on the Food Network. If I was better with the concept of science, Alton Brown would have swayed me into studying food science.

I literally get excited when I see that Good Eats is coming on TV. I make time to watch that show when I know it's coming on in the near future. I wish I could follow him around for a year and learn everything I can learn about food, cooking, and baking from him. I own one of his books (thanks to Benjamin) and I plan on buying all of them when I can afford it. The book I have explains different ways to cook things (grilling, poaching, baking, etc) and gives several recipes to try. I want to poach a chicken in the near future.

Along with Bruce Coville, this is another man I'd love to meet. He keeps me interested in all the food that is available to me. His influence is probably why I love to go food shopping and can probably spend a good two hours in Wegmans picking out what to get for myself. I will always follow Alton Brown through his career until he retires.

On a food note, I need to go to Aldi's and pick up some essentials for baking. I already have baking soda, baking powder, and vanilla extract. I need to buy flour, sugar, brown sugar, shortening, and confectioners sugar. I have several baking goals for this winter:

-A good apple pie,

-Experimenting with yeast, mmmm real bread

-Rainbow cookie cake

-Something with lemon in it

-coconut cream pie

-the perfect chocolate chip cookie

-meringues, of course

I need to get the oven going....