I love the horror genre in video games. I also hate it at the same time. Two weekends ago, I went to Gamestop with my friend Jim where he bought Silent Hill: Homecoming for the Xbox 360. I was jealous, but he said I could borrow it when he's finished with it, and also when I'm finished with the current horror game I'm borrowing, Alan Wake.
I takes me a long time to beat games unless it really catches my attention, like Persona 4 for the PS2. I like to take my time and get as much enjoyment as I possibly can out of a game. I also have a super bad habit of playing many different games at once. It takes me even longer to beat any game I come to own in the horror genre. I enjoy the dark themes and the intriguingly suspenseful stories that come along with these types of games, but I'm also kind of a wimp. I can't ever play these games after dark, or else I get super freaked out. I also don't like to play alone. There has to be someone in the house when I'm playing or else every little sound I hear will make me super paranoid. The current apartment I'm living in likes to make odd noises, so playing these games will constantly remind me that there might be some sort of presence within my house.
I really like the game Alan Wake. It's not one of the scariest games I've played, but I still have issues playing it alone. I also seem to like the games with the normally weak female lead characters that find themselves in a terrible situation. Clock Tower 3 only truly scares me when the murderers come out of nowhere. The deformed guy in Haunting Ground chases you in hope that he will get to have you for dinner; fun, fun. The minds of children gone awry makes me want to figure out the mystery behind The Rule of Rose. I see more horror games all the time that I want to play, but I know how badly they'll react with me.
I don't know why I freak out so much about anything related to horror, but I do. I'm beyond aware of the fact that it is all fake. Certain images will be stored in my mind and as I let my mind rest, it wanders to those images and I start to panic slightly. Of course, this happens mostly before I go to sleep. Thanks to my wonderful subconscious, I dream about morbid things that wake me up in the middle of the night and force me to think happy thoughts for a good hours. I know this happens, most of the time, and yet I still continue to do it.
We all want to know what happens past all the fear and the terror. We hope for an answer, we hope for justice, and we hope for a happily ever after. We take our nerves through hell in order to see a story of survival. We are happy as long as one main person is able to live through the catastrophe. We forget all the others that suffered and died as long as as one person is victorious. That's why getting the "bad endings" in these games are so disappointing. You spent hours trying to make it through alive only to come across anger and sadness in the end. It just doesn't seem worth it unless something positive comes from the end.
I watched Silent Hill last night. It's a terrible movie. The acting is awful and it's not nearly as scary as the original game for the Playstation was (or so I've heard...never played the original game but I plan to). I got my fill of gore and creepy no-faced creatures for the night though. I also saw the mother and daughter "saved" in the end. I still went to bed with the creepy, tied up, dead guy from the bathroom in my head. I still watched the movie even though I know I don't really like it. My love/hate relationship with this genre will continue.
I need to beat Alan Wake so I can give it back to Jim. I will push through the darkness and help Alan Wake figure out why his horror fiction is coming true. I will scare myself towards the happiness that wouldn't exist in the end if all of this was really happening.
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